WHAT IS GDS?
ARE YOU AT RISK?
Do you have GDS (Goat Delusional Syndrome)?
There is no known cure. We don't know how this disease is contracted, the level of contageousness, and very few, if any, approach a full recovery. There are many documented cases of people remaining without symptoms for years, only to have the disease return after many years of not keeping goats.
So, "WHAT IS GDS AND ARE YOU AT RISK"?
Goat Delusional Syndrome
1. Frequent and ongoing conversations with one or more goats.
2. Assigning human attributes such as personality to goats (i.e., "That goat is so selfish - such a snob - so possessive - so jealous.")
3. Over-sensitivity and over-protectiveness (i.e., taking offense when someone refers to goats as mere livestock).
4. Periodic insomnia due to worry about goats - walking out to the barn after midnight just to "check on things."
5. Considering Christmas presents and/or treats for "special goats."
1. Hugging and kissing goats - even BUCKS.
2. Addressing goats with terms of endearment (i.e., sugar, sweetie, honey, baby).
3. Eating only half an apple and pretending you're full - just so you can share the remainder with a goat.
4. Remembering every goats birthday without referring to a calendar or registration papers - AND expecting everyone else in the family to share in your excitement at the goats birthday party.
5. Spending an inordinate amount of time at Internet goat sites and e-mailing perfect strangers about your goats.
6. Canceling vacations because of goats.
7. Missing church because a goat is due to deliver.
8. Buying a bigger farm or ranch so you can buy more goats.
9. Buying goats on credit - putting goats on lay-away - saving for months to buy a single goat.
10. Taking a second job or second mortgage to support your goat habit.
11. Joining a 12 Step Program or support group because of your goat addiction.
12. Insisting that family holiday gatherings are at your farm/ranch because you can't bear the thought of the goats being alone for the holidays.
13. And finally, trying to find decorative uses for goat berries - such as painting and stringing them like cranberries for your Christmas tree.