Friday, November 13, 2009

GDS - Goat Delusional Syndrome



Do you have GDS (Goat Delusional Syndrome)?

There is no known cure. We don't know how this disease is contracted, the level of contageousness, and very few, if any, approach a full recovery. There are many documented cases of people remaining without symptoms for years, only to have the disease return after many years of not keeping goats.


Goat Delusional Syndrome

Basic Symptoms

1. Frequent and ongoing conversations with one or more goats.
2. Assigning human attributes such as personality to goats (i.e., "That goat is so selfish - such a snob - so possessive - so jealous.")
3. Over-sensitivity and over-protectiveness (i.e., taking offense when someone refers to goats as mere livestock).
4. Periodic insomnia due to worry about goats - walking out to the barn after midnight just to "check on things."
5. Considering Christmas presents and/or treats for "special goats."

Advanced Symptoms

1. Hugging and kissing goats - even BUCKS.
2. Addressing goats with terms of endearment (i.e., sugar, sweetie, honey, baby).
3. Eating only half an apple and pretending you're full - just so you can share the remainder with a goat.
4. Remembering every goats birthday without referring to a calendar or registration papers - AND expecting everyone else in the family to share in your excitement at the goats birthday party.
5. Spending an inordinate amount of time at Internet goat sites and e-mailing perfect strangers about your goats.
6. Canceling vacations because of goats.
7. Missing church because a goat is due to deliver.
8. Buying a bigger farm or ranch so you can buy more goats.
9. Buying goats on credit - putting goats on lay-away - saving for months to buy a single goat.
10. Taking a second job or second mortgage to support your goat habit.
11. Joining a 12 Step Program or support group because of your goat addiction.
12. Insisting that family holiday gatherings are at your farm/ranch because you can't bear the thought of the goats being alone for the holidays.
13. And finally, trying to find decorative uses for goat berries - such as painting and stringing them like cranberries for your Christmas tree.

Written by Debbie Whittle and posted on several e-group lists.
The article is by a Debbie Whittle. I don't know who she is or where to find her but will be watching for her on my goat lists. I would like to get permission to leave this here and add any other credit she'd like with it if she'll graciously agree. If you know of a contact method, please post in the comments or email me! TIA!
I greatly enjoyed reading it and hope my readers do too. Good job, Debbie!
The photos are of a couple of my goats. At the top is Winchester 22 at 5 weeks old. Winchester is goatie #22 and a Boer buckling. The 2nd photo is of Lady Bug and June Bug who are full sisters of triplets. In the background is Nipper, their future herd sire. The girls were about a month old. They are Nigerian Dwarfs.


  1. ROFLOL!!!! I totally love this and can relate to most of this, but if I ever get to number 13 I am throwing in the towel.


  2. I don't know about that! You could be giving up patent rights to a new craft project that could make lots of money for nothing but poop! My dad use to have a little dust catcher that was a Texas Turd Burd and was a couple road apples made into a bird with a few feathers glued on! I have no idea how much people paid for that but...... ??